Perhaps it’s Nature, or maybe it’s Nurture, but I was raised to talk proper and since I went to a Grammar School it would seem unfortunate if I didn’t adhere to at least some of the rules of the Queen’s English.
For some unfathomable reason, there is one particular area which never fails to ignite my inner torch, and that’s the Apostrophe Criminals.
As far as I can tell, they fall in to two main groups:-
These people seem outwardly normal, but when they put pen to paper they feel a s’udden compuls’ion to place an apos’trophe every time they s’ee the letter ‘S’. It just s’ort of get’s BLURTED out from their pen onto the paper like a machine gun. Pres’umably the reas’oning behind this’ is’ the fact that they’d rather have too many than too few. At leas’t if you put one in, you have a 50/50 chance of being right? Especially if the word ends in an ‘S’.
2. At the other end of the scale are the ‘Apostrophe Phobics’
These are the folk who belong to the bury-ones-head-in-the-sand brigade. It doesnt matter whether the sentence contains any omission (letters missing in a form of abbreviation, e.g. I have = Ive) or possession (Johns dog), there will never be an apostrophe in sight.
But. For the Love of All Things Holy, don’t start up a Sign business unless you know how to handle the little curly fellas.