Swimming ‘sustificates’ & other mispronunciations

I am smiling. For two very good reasons.
1. My littlest Little Man has just received his very first award for swimming. 5 whole metres. Get in there, son!
2. As I collected his award I had one of those moments of sweet recollection from my own childhood that I was unable to pronounce the word ‘certificate’ and so the term ‘sustificate’ was born.

The suscertificate comes with a badge and we could not be more proud if it were Olympic Gold.

The mispronunciation is one of many ‘isms’ in my family, borne out of childhood naïveté, which has endured for two generations and counting, and of which I am equally proud.

In littlest Little Man’s short 4-and-3-quarter years, he has so far accumulated this impressive list of Awards:-

  • a Kung Fu white belt
  • a Special Mention in school assembly
  • bringing home the special Teddy Bear for the weekend from dance class
  • a variety of stickers for being a good boy – dentist, nursery etc.

He is a big achiever and awesome to boot.

The family mispronunciations also come in multiples…

  • Father Christmas is now referred to as Farmer Christmas – much better, don’t you think?
  • ‘University’ sounded  much more intellectual when it was mistakenly referred to as ‘Usiversity’, so we stuck with it
  • A game of marbles was always ‘Marleys’ when my brother and I could still spend an hour on our knees without sever pain
  • The best pirates always say “Shiver my Timbles” (Who are we to argue? No-one knows what shiver me timbers means anyway)

The awards, stickers and sustificates are all safely logged and preserved in the family archives, so little man can look back and smile wistfully at his recollections one day, just as I did today.

The ‘isms’ will be passed on to another generation,  like the family treasure which they are. Rich in memories, if not in value.

I just know that you have your own, so tell me about them, I do love a participator!


“Life’s a Journey, SaveEveryStep”

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