The Big Sex Talk (‘Life’s a Journey’ nostalgia Link-Up, week 59)

Welcome to year two of our weekly series of ‘link-up’ Posts which reflect on life’s journey, old memories and family stories (see below for more info).

In my case The BST went a bit like this:

Aged 12, 1979. In the bathroom.

ME: “Aaaarghhhhhhh! Muuuuuuuum! (intermittent hyperventilation sounds) Somethings…*sob* h..h..happened to me *sob*. I’m bleeeeeeeeding!!”

MUM: “Oooookay. I think you’d better read this, darling.”

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Thank GOD she didn’t sit on the candlewick bedspread and read it with me. I don’t think I could have survived such excruciating embarrassment. What does a woman of, I dunno…..FORTY something know about S.E.X for God’s sake?

Fast forward to a forty something mother-of-a-teenager-me. Call me a bad mother, but we’ve never had A Big Sex Talk. It is clear to me that my teenage son knows far more than I would like him to about the birds and the bees. I know this with absolute certainty by the way he laughs at highly inappropriate televisual references to words such as ‘knob’ and ‘orgasm’.family stories

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve read some stuff (amusing extracts her by way of illustration) and I’ve told him I’m too young to be a grandma. I’ve squeezed his blackheads and introduced him to the big showery thing in the bathroom. Heck, I’ve even browsed for websites that he can look at to help with his education (even as we speak I am half expecting a heavily armed SWAT team to swoop in via kitchen window to confiscate my laptop).

family storiesNo. In fact my greatest worry is NOT that he will fail to understand the facts of life, or that he will be ill prepared for his first ventures into sexual activity. My greatest anxiety is that I, his mother will have absolutely NO clue what the hell he is talking about because I am forty something and I am out of touch with the vagaries and language of youth.

Is it wrong to make him watch back to back episodes of Sex in the City as part of a controlled education programme? :)

Tell me about yours…… Join the Linky or leave a comment. Memories come in all shapes and sizes, just like human appendages (according to The Book). Isn’t nostalgia a beautiful thing?family stories

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More about the Life’s a Journey weekly memories series.

A selection of other posts from this series:-

FIrst day of school memories family stories

Week 2 – Old School Portrait

family stories best friends

Week 4 – Bestest Friends

family stories teenage crush

Week 5 – Teenage Crushes

family stories grease movie

Week 6 – First Movie Memories

family stories cinderella

Week 9 – Favourite Childhood Books

family stories

Week 19 – Becoming a Parent

family stories

Week 25 – Old Boyfriends

family stories

Week 39 – My home town

8 responses to “The Big Sex Talk (‘Life’s a Journey’ nostalgia Link-Up, week 59)

  1. oh that made me laugh! Haven’t quite got to ‘the big chat’ stage, but don’t think I could be any worse at it than my mum, bless her – she was USELESS! No talk at all, she found the whole thing so embarrassing and left A Book in my room instead. And I was so embarrassed I kept trying to hide the Book among others on a shelf downstairs. Thankfully mum got better at it. Lucky for my 3 younger sisters!
    (just noticed the Ian Botham pic – haven’t a clue about cricket, but I had such a massive crush on him in the 80’s!)

    • How do we have so much in common and yet not know each other’s blogs yet?!!!
      I am feeling slightly worried now, as your book hiding is EXACTLY what my 13 year old has been doing. I get it out, he puts it away. Repeat until 16….LOL

    • Sadly, dad’s can never be relied upon for those tricky and sensitive issues (at least not to do it RIGHT!) It’s hard to convince a teen that it’s just as embarrassing for you as it is for him, OR that you even know anything about sex!!!

    • The sad thing is she probably does! I wouldn’t make a big deal of it, just keep taking the opportunities as they arise (TV etc) and bite down hard on your lip!!

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