PTA Palpitations

I am sure Santa is a busy guy, but he should really try a week on my PTA at Christmas.

It’s worth pointing out at this point that I have brought it all on myself. There was a moment of silence some time back in January when the former Chairperson confirmed that she was standing down. You know that moment when everybody suddenly finds a bit of fluff on their boots, and tumbleweed scuttles across the Staffroom floor? That’s the one. I have no idea why I feel the need to fill awkward silences, but apparently I said “I’ll do it”. (I probably said “I’ll bloody do it” if the truth be told, but that’s really just splitting hairs).

family stories

As a result of my incapacity to shut the **** up, my run up to Christmas has been something like this…..

1st November – apopleptic panic when I realise that it’s only 4 weeks until the Christmas Fayre date on 7th December.

6th November – cardio-vascular malfunction when I realise that I’ve forgotten that there are supposed to be another two PTA events before 17th NOVEMBER! Bobbins. So caught up in forgetting the December event that I forgot the November ones….

17th November – sucking up the praise for the incredible work completed by my awesome pals who saved my ass.

18th November – careering around the district organising Santa, sleighs, donkey rides, stalls, games, prizes, donations, raffles and elf-knows how many other aspects that go to making up the world’s biggest Christmas Fayre.

7th December – awakened by a text which says ‘Donkeys are off’. End the day sucking up the praise for the £3000 raised, and bathing my sorrows & aching feet in red wine.

family stories

8th December – a tiny bit of Chuckle Brother action as I attempt to remove the giant Christmas Fayre advertisement banner from a major road intersection with a pair of scissors and a helpful friend. Turns out said banner is attached permanently to a 10 foot long wooden frame, and will be required to be carried half a mile along the main road to the school. Much guffawing.

8th December – light palpitations at the prospect of having to make (another) shepherd costume for my typecast 6 year old’s Nativity play. Due in school in 3 days’ time.

11th December – defibrilated with car battery by husband when I remember that we are meant to be organising a Christmas Disco on the 13th December.

13th December – bailed out once again by my magnificent committee. Checking diary to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything else, and marking the date of the next AGM when I can pass the baton to a more just and competent leader.

But God, I love this shit.

Do you PTA?

family stories


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